Years of throat infections and silence.
Or worse, words that did not serve me.
A giggle when I was uncomfortable.
The confusion at the synchronized act that others seemed to inherently know, and I did not.
The defending 'judging eyes' and clenched jaw.
Things I should have said, and should have felt strong in sharing. Instead of questioning my truth. I truly believed that the only voice that I had of influence, was my sexual expression. It became energy that I was familiar with but did not recognize as myself. I could not see this energy as my voice, my truth, my energy. So I set off to find it.
What I have come to know is that doubt will lead you in every direction except home.
It was a long road to the woman I am now. A road past shame, feelings of unworthiness, and fear. A road lit by hope. Hope that someone else was within the shell that I was. Hope that the potential for light and peace that I dreamed for myself, could be real.
This hope took me into my heart space. Where a fire was waiting for me to find my warmth.
'You are special' the fire spoke on to me.
'You are loved,'
'You are going to do great and fierce things'.
This hope took me into my relationships, where I wittnessed how I treat others with a degree of love and care that I did not gift myself.
It took me back through rocky roads, where I was given opportunity after opportunity to use my voice. To raise my truth.
And after some practicing, I did.
Through this practice, I built a home within myself. One that I cherish. One that I am proud of. I believe that each of us build our own lives. Circumstances will always change, and they may affect us. But the person that we are, that is controllable. That is growable.
The path that I had to go on in order to feel comfortable with my voice and my truth, was the path that I used to step into my power. My strength. My love.
I finally found the sense of peace that comes with being completely authentic in my communications, my intentions and my growth. This peace has made way for the manifestation of dreams. For the intangible bliss of being present within my own life.
My voice is a reflection of my power and my truth, and with it, I
going to do great and fierce things.
I believe that these great and fierce things involve growing the voices and power of the women around me. Warriors who are seized by quiet battles with shame and fear. Women who know that they have more love to give themselves, and others. Who have a bigger truth to share.
You know where I come from. You know why I do what I do. You have been there too. Perhaps you are there right now. Woman to woman, let's be present for this gift of transformation.
Together let's get more familiar with that heart fire
and do great and fierce things.