I demand so much more only because I have been less.
Less than who I am now.
I have been a thousand different women, all while keeping this form.
It is truly amazing the grace that time creates. The detachment of what has been to create space for what will grow.
This opportunity has allowed me to grow past the low situations and self that I identified with. A part of that growth was to let go of the anger, judgment, and agreements that I held in the same light as my worth.
I have been a victim. A body for rent. A broken protector. An adopted mother. I have been a liar. And a fighter. A doubter and a lover. I have been a stripper, a healer, a listener, and a killer.
I have been so much. Situations that are below me now, are only there because I have passed them. I often find myself in similar circumstances as my life continues, and approach each one with the weathered eyes of a woman who has been everything and still nothing.
I demand so much of myself. Of each circumstance. I push for kindness and tolerance, love and healing. Because I have gone through loveless and unkind places. I have been intolerant and broken.
I COULD NOT HAVE LEFT ANY OF THESE 'IDENTITIES' IN THE PAST IF I KEPT THE MINDSET THAT ALLOWED ME TO BECOME THEM.
Who we are is who we choose to be. Not the past circumstances we have lived through (or even created). Each of our identities is fluid. They are continuously forming and taking shape in the direction that we choose to grow. Forgive yourself. Forgive the identity that is no longer serving you.
With this freedom of identity and transparency of the self, no elevation is impossible. No hate is unforgivable. No brokenness is unfixable.
We can be so much more than we have been. We just have to let her grow past the shame, fear, and judgment that we have tethered her to.