It wasn't them. It was me.

The truth I found about my toxic relationships.

I called my mom from Hawaii last year.

It was after a pretty intense revelation,

An unraveling of a deep belief that I had curated for myself.

In our group journaling

I realized that I had limitations

around where I could show up and how much of myself was welcomed.

My family and I had such a raw history.

There was a time (12 years) where we were bad for each other.

Love was manipulated into something more dangerous.

Something that became fear, games and limitations.

And the thing about those relationships,

Is that there is no forgiveness,

and seldom any change.

I knew that the relationships that I wanted would have to be supported by my development.

The call that I had with my mom

was to tell her how much I love her,

and invite her to spend time with me

Outside of the family home.