The biggest lesson I took away from reading my old journal
My mother taught me
how to be a woman.
I learned what was true,
By watching what she allowed to be true for herself.
Her compass was the entirety of my map.
I learned her path before getting lost on my own because it seemed safer.
For years I chased the gold stars that would come when I followed her example.
It wasn't just her, later it would be friends, teachers, mentors. But my mom was my first relationship when I outsourced my own voice and substituted it for hers. I became the mirror holding her reflection, and without her reflection,
I didn't know who I was.
"Roses are red
Violets are blue
I will go dead
Ever leave me."